Ruby has Alzheimer's Part #2

Clean like you've never cleaned before.....

As expected, Ruby started regressing, looking for her small children (who were all now in their 50's) and she was upset that they were not home yet for dinner.

She can no longer turn the water on in the kitchen, she cannot boil the kettle, she cannot butter bread or toast, she can no longer eat soup from a bowl, but she can sip it from a cup.

Almost everyday she was voicing that she was in "Somebody else's house" and often thought she was in a 'motel' and was going to walk home. In these times I would actually take her for a little walk, and then back to the house, "here's home!" I'd say and she would once again be happy.

I would have liked a camera set up to see what she gets up to at night, bet swapping, often urinating on all the linen, unable to find the toilet or even recognize it. She is alone all night you see, from 5 PM until 8.30 AM.

Toilet signs and pictures no longer worked, for she could not comprehend what they were.

I often hear from co-workers who work in facilities, that their main job is to just clean up poop, and they are not kidding.
Just as a one year old might take poop out of their nappy (Diaper) and spread it around so does many people with forms of dementia.

As the days continued, we were greeted with a scene that included faeces actually rubbed into the walls, spread throughout the entire house, ground into the carpet, the bedding and all over Ruby. I cannot even describe the enormity of it all, and no matter how much you cleaned, the house still stunk like a public rest room.  We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned, everyday we cleaned her whole house from top to bottom, scraping poop off every surface.

Ruby became quite sexually explicit, something she would never have been in her former true self, "I've got a surprise for you" she would say, and whip out both breasts, or pulling down her pants.
"Lets go get a bra on" I would say, and I'd put the straps over her shoulders "Now you put the girls in and I'll clip it up at the back"

Social outings became an opportunity to "Find a man" not just for her, but she kept trying to find one for ME - upon passing a group of construction workers she points and shouts "Look! There is a man for you!" I smile, and we keep walking.
"Thank you Ruby, but he's not quite my type"

We do this job for the love of people, certainly not for the money. Did you know a checkout operator earns more than an Aged Care Worker?
Someone once told me "You never get rich working with people in need" and yet we do it, because we love people and want the best quality of life possible for them.

We are criticized in the news for not giving enough 'quality' in our care, or that this one or that one was left too long with soiled clothes, believe me, it's easy to criticize from  behind a desk, or a computer. We have very little time, little funding, and frankly, there is way more of the aging population who need care than there is care workers. We do our best. The majority of care workers strive to provide the best care possible with what little time and resources that they have. This is no different in the facilities or in the community.

The family is suffering......

Ruby's family are suffering, her daughter is worn out, she has a job and family too, and she is also trying to do her best for her mother, she and Ruby's son are mentally and physically exhausted, they don't know what to do.
They feel sad and humiliated. They are grieving. You see with Alzheimer's you loose your loved one three times.

1. When they are diagnosed.
2. When they no longer remember you.
3. When their actual body passes away.

Many Alzheimer's suffers are physically fine, it's their brain that doesn't work. They can go on for years, for decades, alive in their body, but their brains are not functioning. The loved one is gone and just a shell remains. It's cruel, it's horrendous, and families suffer so much. It is the living death.


Ruby falls asleep in the chair, her daughter stands at the window looking through at her much loved mother, tears are running down her cheeks. Her daughter has just been told that Ruby is beyond help at home and she must source a facility to provide care.


Ruby has Alzheimer's Part #3 (currently under construction, come back soon)

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